hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
