no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
