now i know why i became what i already was.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
