bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
