I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
