Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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