question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
