Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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