Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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