K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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