I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
