she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Girls should come with a carfax report
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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