; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'm going to jail i love you
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
she peed on how many people?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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