I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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