In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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