As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
