There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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