Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
