She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
