i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
