I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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