The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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