Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
