I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
