i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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