I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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