is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
