Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
