it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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