We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
