well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
