So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
And then the night went full on bisexual.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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