Do vagina's smell?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
