Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
