does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
The adults are the big ones right?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize