The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
