please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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