K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
