I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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