it's like heaven, but drunker
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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