Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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