DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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