Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
