Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
