when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
