She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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