u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
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