I accidentally had phone sex last night
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
