Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
