I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize