drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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