you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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