I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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