so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
