I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
She announced her abortion via fbk
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
